How do you stop a clown from laughing? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar. Oh, wait, no. It was a horse. So... A man walks into a horse

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

thumb_up thumb_down +32

FUS RO DAH!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

if bought jim bought 78 sweets and he eats 68 what does jim have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

thumb_up thumb_down +32

all your base are belong to mark

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? None because alligators don't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the difference between a white man and a black man? black people have more melanin in their skin causing it to pigment and turn black

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I used play skyrim...but then I realsied I had a lot of exams so I had to stop

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What did the black man say to the mexican? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down +30

a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between shoes and babies? You can't eat shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why didn't the Hispanic die in the bus explosion? Because he was at home playing with his children when it happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops