What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? It was taped to the other monkey

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Pickles

If my balls were on your chin, where would my dick be?

Knock knock. Who's there? Quetzalcoatl. Quetzalcoatl who? Quetzalcóatl, Mayan name Kukulcán, (from Nahuatl quetzalli, “tail feather of the quetzal bird [Pharomachrus mocinno],” and coatl, “snake”), the Feathered Serpent, one of the major deities of the ancient Mexican pantheon. Oh... hi.

Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

So A duck wants to be a musician. Day1: He cuts of his beak attempting to sing. Day2: Dead

A man walks into a bar. and buys a drink.

Michael Brown

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

i have yougurt mit traktor

Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

Two Eskimos are in a bath tub. One says pass the soap. The other says no soap; radio.

A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

A Guitar is an instrument. As far as you know...

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

How many days can a pelican whisper? Pelicans can't whisper.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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