Roses are red bullets are led if you don't take me back now i'll shoot you in the head!

A russian, a mexican, and an american are all sitting in a tavern. The russian ordered vodka, the mexican orders tequila, and the american orders a beer. When the waiter arrives, the russian throws his vodka into the air, shoots it, and says "we got too many of those in our country". The mexican tosses up his tequila and says "we got too many of those in our country". The american throws up his beer, shoots the mexican, and says "we got too many of those in our country". And then drinks his beer.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

DINOSAUR Street Fighter 4: Masterchief edition LOUND ONE! BAKE! And the final results: Sagat: Heh, you want some... cornflakes? *BOOO! YOU THUG!" Ryu: WHOWANTSSOMEPOUNDCAKE! *Delicious poundcake omg" "Well, at least better than serving a fucking bowl of foocking cornflakes with milk in four goddamn hours!" YOU LOSE! "You must defeat my Poundcake to stand a chance, I am the worlds greatest pillow fighter!" GAME OVER

why do elephants paint them selves green ..... to blend into snooker tables. have u ever seen an elephant on a snooker table .... thats just how good they are.

Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

What did the vampire use to make tea? Hot water, a kettle, and some nice green tea leaves given to him by his great uncle for kwanza.

Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, ask the chicken.

while having sex, the boy asked, "how many ears do elephants have?" his father answered, "two"

knock knock whos there I AM YOUR MOTHER!!!!

A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

Q- Why did spongbob go to Detroit? A- He didn't, spongbob is not real. And even if he was, Detroit is not a very popular tourist attraction.

Who is the dumbest person on the entire internet? Shortpoet-GTD

y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

What did Batman say to Superman before they got in the car? Get in the car.

How does Steven Hawkings refresh after a long day of work? F5

What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

What color was the black guy's skin? Brown

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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