What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Yo mama so fat, she was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes and has been instructed by her physician to exercise and regularly monitor her blood glucose levels.

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Two Canadian men are sitting in a room. Man 1: Do you know what happens when you shoot a wolverine? Man 2: No. Man 1: It absorbs the bullets, duh. The second man proceeds to go outside with a gun. He returns in a few minutes. Man 1: What did you do with that gun? Man 2: I shot a wolverine. Man 1: What happened? Man 2: It fell over and died. I think you watch too much X-Men.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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Well, first of all, what I have overcome both mentally (trauma) and physically (lots of shit) is in the past, lets leave it there. Second yeah, I can basically shift my sense of left and right at will, meaning I can choose which arm to write with, and write things mirrored without even thinking about it, I can fool my senses basically, one second I struggle playing the piano because I have just trained with one, then I make my brain believe I have been practicing with both, its simple, but complicated to explain, while my ears are perfectly normal, I got two sets of balance nerves, it just gets more complicated from there.

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Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

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Why did they choose Madonna to perform in the halftime show? Because she might die soon.

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Did you hear about the blonde that crashed her car? No. Is she okay?

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What do you call a terrorist on 9/11? A terrorist.

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What's bad about a Hispanic Women and a White man dating? A: Nothing at all really, unless either of them become involved in drugs, alchohol, or unprotected sex, which can ruin any relationship.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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knock knock who's there bob bob who bob marley who else

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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