How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to take three harpoons to the chest and still manage to feast on a family of baby seals...... Hi my name is Joey

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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A man walks into a vagina. The man, expecting a holiday inn, is very confused, and later gets mauled by five bears, who mistook his scent for a fish.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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Rush Limbaugh

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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why didn't the girl like that one guy? he hurt her, hurt her real bad.

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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Which ballet do pigs like best? Pigs don't understand ballet, but they probably like the ones with audience participation, as they are friendly animals and enjoy interacting with humans.

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Female rights.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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Q:What's the difference ethernet a corvette and a pile of dead baby's? A:I don't have a corvette in my garage

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Ring Ring Hello? Click

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A student asks a teacher: Sir, how much time would it take for me to do this quiz. Teacher says: From the second I give you this test to the second you hand it back to me.

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What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

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Q:What do you call a sheep with no legs? A: A cloud.

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A man and a woman are having sex. The man finishes and says, "Oh, God, I hope you're on the pill." The girl says she isn't and begins to cry. Lacking a job or a stable life, the man leaves the woman. The woman has an abortion and suffers irreversible damage to her ovaries.

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What's worse than a dead baby? What a sick question. Most would argue that nothing is worse than the death of an infant.

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A guy has spikey things in his butt, what happened?............... He fell on a cactus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops