What do you call postman pat without a job? Pat.

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What do you call a kid with no friends? ....a Sandy Hook survivor

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How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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Why can't a cat fly Because it doesn't have wings.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Do you believe in love at first site? Or should I walk by again?

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Q: What do you call a pig with wings? A: Pigs don't have wings.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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Yo Mama's so fat Everyone is very concerned for her Health.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What happens when an antijoke and a joke comes together? Unicorns mate with Neil Patrick Harris

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Why did the goose cross the road? Because the chicken was on vacation

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What is a Zebra? Zebras (/?z?br?/ zeb-r? or /?zi?br?/ zee-br?)[1] are several species of African equids (horse family) united by their distinctive black and white stripes. Their stripes come in different patterns, unique to each individual. They are generally social animals that live in small harems to large herds. Unlike their closest relatives, horses and donkeys, zebras have never been truly domesticated.

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A black man walks into a bar and orders a shot. He then precedes to drink it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, this is stupid, Violets are purple Violets are purple Oranges are orange Nothin' rhymes with orange wait.... DOORHINGE!!!!! -sincerely, That famous Orange on YouTube

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How many ADD kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Let's ride bikes!!

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What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

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why did the chicken cross the road? the sudden lack of sidewalk dictated as such.

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

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Well, its Eliza again, sorry to bother you Nero, I always thought you where good looking but I know that when it comes to you its not about the looks, you are far more than meets the eye. Neo-Nero was the guy we met at a certain meeting, the arrogant guy with the big forehead whose arms where shaking remember? I wont reveal more for his sake, he did not mean bad, he was just angry like the rest of us and felt responsible, again like many of us. So when can we meet you? I assume you wont be arriving soon, but Id really apreciate seeing you again, and considering neither I nor my parents (I asked them) have the money to come visit you, id appreciate a loan or something.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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