Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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Whats the difference between black people and white people? They're both people.

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How did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it died. how did the second monkey fall out of the tree? because it was stapled to the other monkey.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Fishing rods are cool This haiku does not make sense Lumpy Space Princess

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A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your car repossessed.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes to step on trampolines.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPFTeHEsAS4 You will not be disappointed.

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Why was the man crying? He just got called and the doctor confirmed he had AIDS.

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why did jimmy fall of of the tractor? Because he is a potato

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What do a black man and a bench have in common? The black man can sit in the bench.

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Why didn't Tyron run from the police? He had no legs.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

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"Knock, knock." "You don't have to say that. The door's open, come on in."

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If Justin Bieber and Rebecca Black had a baby, would it be a boy or a girl? It's a fifty-fifty shot.

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Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

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Q: What did the police officer tell the man without a shirt on? A: Put a shirt on.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I need to go to the bathroom.

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Death by kayak

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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