5 blondes walk into a bar They all leave very intoxicated and die in a car accident shortly after.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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why did suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.. knock, knock who's there? not suzie

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A blonde is walking down the road, and she sees a sign saying STOP. She carries on walking. As a pedestrian, the sign does not apply to her.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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What's worse than hitting your thumb with a hammer? Getting your spine ripped off

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My girlfriend says i cant finish a sentence properly dripping horse cum fetus rape.

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Why did the shark attack the rock? Because it thought it was a human.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Roses are Blue Violets are Red Watermelons are green Refridgerator

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Q: How do you make a plumber sad? A: Kill his family

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Chris is hairy

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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A fat black guy walks into a pet store and asks if he can have a chicken. The cashier says "what do you want a chicken for?" He says " I need to lose weight so I'm hoping to eat its all natural eggs" So the cashier gives him the chicken and the fat black guy lost 50 pounds.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs waterskiing? Skip

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Knock Knock. Who´s there? Tsu Tsu who? TSUNAMI!!!!!!!

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If you can fit many clowns in a car and many mexicans in a car...how many mexican clowns will fit?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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