Her Majesty's Government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain

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Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

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your mom is so stupid she got raped

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why did the woman get electricuted? because there was an electric fence around the kitchen.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

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The world does not deserve our rule, it requires effort, teamwork, respect for oneself and others, tolerance, love, patience, strength, honor, loyalty... ...Face it, people do this because it is far easier to be ruled, than to rule, it is far easier to do as told, than to ask oneself what one desires with ones life. A king that suffers the burden of his people, falls of his throne, a king that enjoys the burdens of his people, creates burden, and grows as people suffer. We cannot change that, maybe we have yet to evolve to that point as humans, or maybe it is time to accept, that we have evolved past this.

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Why can't monkeys and kuala bears get along? Because they are two entirely different species that cannot communicate with each other...

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What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is an Italian food that is an American favorite, and the other is a follower of Judaism.

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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What's the difference between Justin Bieber and R. Kelly? One is an arrogant asshole known for pissing on things, the other is R. Kelly.

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Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator? A: She couldn't find the 10 key.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? cause it was dead

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? They're both purple expect the rabbit

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Guy One: Guess what? Guy Two: What? Guy One: I don't know, that's why I asked you.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? - Because it died.

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While getting Sherrie's Crabcakes I was arrested by Missy Hepp highway patrol.

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What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Q: Why does it take three Polacks to change a light bulb? A: Because they're so damn stupid.

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what do you do with a drunken sailor? take him back to port because he's not in a right state of mind to be on board a moving vessel

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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