2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

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HOw do u DEFeat thE hatErsz shitted on em

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Roses are Red Violets are Red My Garden is on Fire.

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Women's rights

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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Who is the best person to do your nails with? Nobody, you have no friends.

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A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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How do you blindfold an asian? With a blindfold.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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What's worse than getting raped by a bear? Getting raped by two bears.

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Theres this black guy who goes to a gun shop and buys a .45 and then goes to get a permit and uses it responsibly....

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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What sound does a baby in a blender make? I don't know, I was too busy masturbating.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Tim. Tim who? Tim Smith.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, He cracked his skull and died on impact. He will be missed.

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Which is rather deceiving, Considering that the name 'violet' should naturally insinuate that the object it is describing is violet as well. Violet as a color is generally a deep shade of purple. Therefore, shouldn't the aforementioned plant, the 'violet', be violet in color as opposed to the blue color that is most widely accepted by the general populous?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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