What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for his birthday .............. Nothing because he died before his birthday

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What did the fat man eat for breakfast? Nothing, he died of heart failure in the night.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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-Knock, knock. -Is it the pizza man? -No. -Then go away.

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Why was the cat meowing at the chicken? Because Sally got hit by a fridge.

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a boy named justin littleton made his own anti-joke......

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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THe Election

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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What's the capital of Hungary? Thirtsy

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What is little,red and its in the corner??? -strawberry in the corner

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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why does david stutter during meetings. because he smiles till his cheeks hurt

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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A gay guy asks a boy out and a girl The girl said no but the guy said yes And the two gay guys went to dinner And made out

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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