A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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What did the hobo get for christmas? Nothing.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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What do you say to a corpse? How's life?

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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After eating dinner, my dad said... "That was really good."

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. It should only take one person to demonstrate such a simple task, regardless of their hair color.

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outside your comfort zone

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A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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Yo momma is So Fat? And isn't your cousin Chow Yun Fat? I think I know some of the Fat family. How are they all doing?

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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What do baseball and The Holocaust have in common? They're both sports, except for the The Holocaust.

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Whats worse them finding a worm in your apple??? finding out your adopted

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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