Q. What is the fastest animal in the world? A. An Ethiopian chicken.

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What happened to the lion which escaped from the zoo? It was successfully recaptured.

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where does al queda go on a business trip the twin towers

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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Q: Why did the Asian man get fired from his job? A: He sexually assaulted his co-workers

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How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

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A monkfish walks into a bar... The world blew up

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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This one time, at band camp, I played the trumpet.

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how do you drowned a blonde? put ankle weights on her and throw her in a river.

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A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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A Jew, a Russian, and a Turk walk into a bar. The Jew asks, "Can I get a glass of Manischewitz?" The bartender serves him. The Russian asks, "Can I get a shot of vodka?" The bartender serves him. The Turk then asks, "Can I get a Turkish coffee?" The bartender looks at him, confused, and says, "Sorry, but this is a bar. Unfortunately we don't serve coffee."

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! In for a penny, in for a pound. I'm Donald Trump!

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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What did Helen Keller name her pet dog? dfhiwueghweigw

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what's yellow and hovers? a yellow hovercraft.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender: why the long face Horse: I'm dying of an incurable cancer...

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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A duck walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what will you have for dinner? The duck says "quack".

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whats funnier than womens rights? ottos weight

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What does china and an 80 year old body builder have in common? They're both asian. I forgot to mention that the body builder is japanese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops