Obama Getting Re-Elected.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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what is long on joe? Not his dick thats for sure.

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knock knock, whos there, isaac touch my titty

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Penguin. Penguin who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Q. what do you call mexican stoners A. baked beans

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Policeman: Knock, knock. Woman: Who's there? Policeman: The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband has been killed.

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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How do you tell if your lesbian lover has cheated on you? If she's pregnant.

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I was going to write about anti-climaxes but then I didn't.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

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Why didn't the parachute open? nevermind

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What do you call an apple in a washing machine? My lunch!

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what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Yeah, I know too, its as if "Omg he has not replied in 5 seconds something must be wrong", sorry about that. Not endorphin person? That cannot be too good.

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Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

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how many babies does it take to paint a house depends on how hard you throw em

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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