I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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Your dad is so hairy, that he shaves to look more cleanly.

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Black people are like jelly beans. Nobody likes the black one's.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What did the disabled kid get for his birthday. The same as any other kid.

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your Apple ? The holocust .

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What's the worse thing O.J. Simpson has gotten away with? Running a red light

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Dont be racist be like mario he is an italian who looks like a mexican speaks english and picks up coins like a jew.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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how do make a condom fly around the room? Piss it off!

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why did kim kardashian get divorced? because she was unhappy with her marrige. and because shes a slut

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Knock Know! Come in!

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Why do dogs chase squirrels? Beacuse dogs have very low attention spands and also chase cars and cats.

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What do you call a black man with a Ph.D? Doctor.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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How many cats would it take to change a lightbulb? Cats can't change lightbulbs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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