Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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why wasnt the baby cute? -because it was dead

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Q: What did the cop do when he saw a mexican in his car? A: Nothing, he was looking in a mirror.

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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There was a little boy in kindergarten who really had to go to the bathroom. So he asked his teacher if he could go to the bathroom, and she told him he could go at snack time. The little boy really had to go to the bathroom, so he asked his teacher again, and like before, she told him to wait until it was snack time. The little boy had to go very very badly and asked the teacher one more time. This time the teacher said "if you can say the alphabet, then you can go to be bathroom" so the little boy got up all his courage and started off with "A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X,Y and Z." Then the teacher said,"good job" and let him go to the bathroom. When he went there was a man waiting in the stall who brutally raped and murdered the boy.

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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why couldn't sarah ride the bike? She had cerebral Palsy

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven they say nothing to eachother because they are muffins and cannot speak if they did they would most likely be taken by the US government and studied and assumed to be alien life forms but anyway the muffins were taken out later and presumably eaten

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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Why didn't the chef serve the black guy his food? Because he wasn't a waitor.

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Two kids walk into a bar and get arrested for underage drinking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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