What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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So you're floating down a river on a two story canoe. How many pancakes does it take to cover a dog house? Four because snakes have no legs.

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Why do black people like Black Friday? They can get fairly expensive appliances for a very reasonable price.

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Sorry babe, even if I was I would not tell you, the entire place is surrounded, but within enough of a distance, so we will plant a nice setup around the green shack so everyone assumes his deal was some solo operation, if someone else is heading at his direction now, you are gonna get busted, so you better stay down.

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A man walks into a bar gets drunk passes out then goes to rehab because he has a problem

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Your momma is so ugly that when she stepped on the mirror, it broke.

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A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

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why did the homeless man die? because everyone does.

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You wanna hear what's totally out of this world? The moon

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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A blind man crosses the street... he is hit by a car

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What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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Why did the bones cross the street? They didn't. The dogs ate them.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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What long black and tasty? Licorice

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How many blondes does it take to walk into a bar? One I guess. I don't know if I understand the question.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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