A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The power of Mindfuck: What if you can only walk left when you are right? And if you can walk right when you are the only one left? What is left when everything is right? Moral: Create a right world by taking the left road? YOU PIECE OF FILTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +26

knock knock who's there? the police, we have a warrant for your arrest.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What would you do if I said a horse ate your mother? It doesn't mattet, I didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The air is green The grass is blue I'm bot stoned.. I'm just high

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A man invites his Irish friend to his house. "Would you like something to drink?" the man asks. "Just kidding, we don't have any drinks." Later, they die of dehydration.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

what did the potato say to the apple nothing food can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

thumb_up thumb_down +26

George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the chicken open door? It can't. Chickens don't have hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A black man, a white man and an asian man jump off a building, which one will land first? Due to the equivalence principle, they will all land at the same time.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

sally has no arms knock knock who's there not sally

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A guy in mud.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops