Why isn't Pluto a planet? Because it mutilated my dog

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How do you get an elephant into a freezer? You stuff him in there!!

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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The declaration of Independence was singed in? Pen.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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Antoni Wilkinsin

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Tyler Bishop is a waffle

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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I'm on the seafood diet. I eat clams and shrimp because it is healthy for me.

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I named my cat Pounce because she jumps. In retrospect I suppose most cats do jump, in fact, they are even known for it.

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A boy goes into a Bakery and asks for a loaf of bread, the baker asks him if he wants a white loaf or a Wholemeal loaf, the boy replies, "it doesn't matter i have my bike outside"

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What do you call a dog with 2 legs? Doesn't matter, it's not going to come anyways.

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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What is Colder than a witch's tit? Not much. It was removed for biopsy and kept in the pathology freezer. At absolute zero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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