I accidentally solicited a prostitute today. I was driving in an iffy neighborhood and saw a woman on the sidewalk, so I stopped to ask if she could give me directions. She must have misheard me.

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What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a Mexican man? I don't know.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a car? Five in your standard sedan

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What do you call someone that has befriended a fisherman? Fishermans friend Moral: Strongest there is.

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Why didn't the blonde hook up with the business man? Because he was a raging alcoholic and a severe smoker who was incapable of looking after his 3 kids and he has gone to jail 3 times for public nudity and beating his wife.

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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Why was the man burnt? Cause he fell in a fire

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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A vodka please Sir this is McDonald's Ok sorry, a McVodka please

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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Why did the big refrigerator fall down the cheese Because i licked my own ear and it got scared and cheese for no raiSOnsD

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What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

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What did the wall say to the floor? Nothing.

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When someone calls me ugly, I run up and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

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What do you call 5 black guys at the bottom of the ocean? scuba divers

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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