Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

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-What do you say to a woman with Two Black eyes?. -Are you really that dumb to leave the kitchen twice -Elder High School

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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A cheeseburger and fries walk into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve lunch"

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What did the old man say? Im old

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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Two trains, on the same track, left different stations, and travelled in opposite directions. 74 people died.

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Four blondes are driving to Disney World. When they are in Florida, there is a sign that says "Disney left" Upset, they make a u-turn and go home.

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What is just as important as Woman's Rights? Woman's Lefts, to maintain equality.

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We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

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If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

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You're such a baby, that you are still in diapers! Ew! How would you know creep!

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

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What do you call a deer with only one leg? A one legged deer. What do you call a deer with one leg, one eye and lives in Rome? Still a one legged deer.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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Why did little Tommy eat an apple? Because he was on a diet

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What animal was two legs and bleeds a lot? half a dog

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What do you call a black guy holding a crate of watermelons? a farmer

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Why did the little girl miss 7 straight days of school? She died.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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