what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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what leaves a bigger memory than a passionate kiss? A STAB WOUND!

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A baby seal walks into a club. He immediately escorted out because babies are not allowed in clubs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Becuase the farmer has recently gone blind due to old age and he acidently left the gate opened and the chicken happened to walk out

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? cancer

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

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why did Susie cry? she got pecked in the face by a goose

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

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LO AND BEHOLD!

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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A rooster is standing on top of a pointed bird house. He lays an egg. Which side does the egg fall, the left or the right? I don't care, I'm a vegetarian.

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Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He couldn't, his legs were broken

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Don't hate the cosplayer hate the... Actually, I lied, hate the cosplayer.

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Roses are red, VIolets are blue, Tulips are white, Sunflowers are yellow

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops