whats white? everything thats not black, yellow, pink, red, blue, orange, purple, green, indigo, turquiose, grey, brown, khaki, gols, silver, bronze.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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A strange man knocks at the door He's your son

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Why did the man smell like french toast? His wife previously made him a plate of it that he ate before walking out of the house.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread

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Q:Wy could't lily sleep at night? A: Becasue her eays were stappeld open.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

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Q. What did the mockingbird say to the blue jay? A. I mock you by mocking you

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what do black and white people have in common? when they dont wear sunscreen, they get sunburnt, except for black people.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you make Jacob cry? Take away his xbox

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, So what is the colour violet for?

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Yolo is for losers, I have 9 lives...meow

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Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

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A man walks into a bar... "OUCH", he says for no apparent reason. He then buys a beer.

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Why was the kid late for his dentist appointment? He was abducted and he's been missing for thirteen days

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rent a cops

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did the black man run when he heard police sirens? Because he was parked in a handicap spot

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Why did the boy not eat his ice cream? He was addicted to self afflicting. The blood from one of his newer slashes oozed out on the cone which being wafer slowly got soggy. At this point the ice cream slid out of the cone as it was soggy and as he went to eat it, he found an abssence of ice cream. After this unprecedented occurance he gave up with his self harming, so all was good.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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