What did my uncle get for Christmas? Me... MagicMonkey

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

A blond is walking down the street when she is suddenly mugged and raped. She reports her attacker but he is never found.

A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. Imams do not drink alcohol so this joke has a logical flaw.

Knock Knock Who's There Me

Why did the doctor not make it to his appointment in time? Because he died in 9/11!

Why did everyone die in the world? Its 2012.

What's the worst thing about that Black Jew at the Bus Stop? He's taking a bus to go to his mother's funeral.

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

Why had the father left his family. Because he was tired of dancing in a circle.

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

How do you know when it is a Mexican's birthday? They are walking around with "happy birthday" balloons.

What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

Why was the Muslim crying? Because his brother got hit by a bus.

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

whats a bike and rhymes with mike?

What did the black man say after he swallowed the bicycle? He didn't say anything. Swallowing a bicycle is physically impossible.

boy and girl are flipping a coin, coin lands on heads, boy: get down bitch

What did the homeless man get for his birthday? AIDS

Why are you a chicken? Because I say cock-a-doodle doo

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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