Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why did the little boy ride his bike to school? It was a birthday present.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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what would george washington do if he was alive today? he would scream and scratch his coffiin

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Why did the woman stop making a sandwich for her husband? Because he's dead.

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CNN has posted that the recent death of osama bin laden is comparable to decapitating a snake when really it is more akin to bisection of a worm.

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well now

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Why was the elf sad Because a polar bear ate his family

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What's worse than a bug in your soup? Getting shot in the stomach.

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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Why did Sally flunk math? Because she didn't achieve the passing grade which is 60 percent or greater. She might need some tutoring in order to master the concept of the lessons to which she has difficulty solving.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

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Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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