What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

What happens when a truck full of mexicans and a truck full of aisians collide? They all die.

What do you call a schizophrenic Clown surrounded by 10,000 Amish gangsters, all armed with dildos? I don't know, but it would be a heck of a sight, wouldn't it?

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two but I don't know how they got in there.

I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

What did the zero say to the eight? I don't know,numbers are inanimate objects so they can't talk.God, what did you think?

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

What did one cat say to the other cat? --------- Meow --------- What's pink and fluffy? --------- Pink fluff --------- What's green and yellow? --------- Grass. I lied about the yellow part.

A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

when god created an asian he said 'Crispy"

Knock Knock! Who's there? John.

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

Why did h little boy drop his ice cream? Jerry Sandusky was behind him.

Brain fart

What did the angry man with tourette syndrome say when he smashed his thumb with a hammer? Ouch.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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