You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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what did the man say to the other man? hey

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What did the man say to the ugly woman? Your face makes my penis soft.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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What happened when the Asain woman got in her car? A speeding drunk driver hit her and now she is paralyzed from the neck down.. Its a tragic story

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS.

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How do you blindfold a Chinese man? With a blindfold.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Why are gay guys so good at being gay? The black guys told them too.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the man throw a clock? In retaliation for his wife having thrown a vase at him. The couple has a history of domestic violence. More than one friend has suggested counselling.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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A man walks into a bar, ouch!

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whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

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What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Wanna buy some meth.

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What's worst than getting hit by a car. -Getting hit by a truck.

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What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

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why did the teacher say that the student did well in class? because the student did well in class

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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