Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

Why didn't the boy answer the phone when it was ringing? Because he had no arms to pick it up.

— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

Roses are red Violets are blue Grass is green Orange is orange

ms caissie is secretly laughing at these...

What did the golfer do on his vacation? He played golf.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

What's the difference between a duck?

how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

Please don't shoot me

What's big, purple, and smells like children? Barney

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

Roses are Black, Violets are Black, I am Ray Charles

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

Why didn't the man win the lottery? Because his lottery numbers weren't drawn.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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