what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Two whales are in a bar. One says, "whoaohaoahwoahwahoh" The other says, "Go home, Frank. You're drunk."

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

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whats ironic about a white van being white the driver usualy is not

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What is worse than getting hit by a bus? 9/11

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What did i say to the stupid person? Your Stupid.

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Why did the retirement home go out of business. There was a fire and all of the residents charred to death accept for a couple who escaped but were too traumatized to return to the old folks home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Whats black, blue, and red all over? A man who has just been severally beaten.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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What's 9+10 Ebola

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Your girlfriend.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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What did the contestant say to the game show host? If I don't win I will arrange to kill your family.

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Why is an elephant big, gray and lumpy? Because if it was small, white and smooth it would be an Asprin.

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What did the black guy say to you when you took his fried chicken Give me back my chicken

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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