Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Q: How much old could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Wood A:10.6 cubic metes

What did the blind, deaf, retarded kid get for Christmas? Spoiled.

What's worse than rotten eggs? Being dead.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms Why couldnt he get up? He had no legs What did the boy get for Christmas? Cancer What did the boy get for Easter? A funeral Knock, knock Who's there? Not the boy.

why was the black man scared of cats ? Because a gang of cats ate his family

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

What did John name his dog? Doggy

When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

What did the cracker say to the cheese? You're so cheesy.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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