Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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when life gives you lemons your like wait how did i get these lemons??

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Face...tastes like chicken!

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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The Americans have just spent millions of dollars working on a pen that works in space. I would of just used a pencil.

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I literally died laughing

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Intercom:ALERT! THERES AND EXTREIMEST IS THE SCHOOL! Little kid: Sir, can I borrow that towel on your head? BOOOOOOM!

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Your momma is so black, that her melanin levels are relatively high.

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Why did the blonde woman decide to get plastic surgery? Because she was self-conscious and unhappy with the way she looked.

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trash can 1 baby in 10 trash cans

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What looks like a lion, sounds like a lion, and feels like a lion? A lion Ba dum chh

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Q:How many pancakes can you fit on top of as doghouse? A:Purple. Because ice cream has no bones.....

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Justin Beiber is a good singer

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

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Q: What did jerry sandusky do with little boys alone? A: Teach them how to play football

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Person 1:Did you hear the joke about the cat, the camera, and the pancakes? Person 2: No, I haven't. Person 1: Oh, that's too bad. Person 1 then gets up and walks into a refrigerator.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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A criminal walks into a bar, and shoots the bartender and has his way with the waitress. Its his bar now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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