Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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A man is walking on the beach and discovers a lamp in the sand. He takes it home to polish it. Eventually it looks like new and he gets a fairly reasonable price from an antique shop.

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why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

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What did the man say to the other man. Hi

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A dyslectic man walks into a bra. It was dark and he didn't see the laundry his wife hanged on the clothes line.

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A. Knock Knock B. ... A. Knock Knock B. ... A. DING DONG B. Who's there? A. Me, I tried knocking first but you musn't have heard me, so I rang the doorbell.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a murderer.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Did you hear about the Dislexic Devil worshipers? They sold their soul to Santa.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

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Whats black and white and red all over?? Half a zebra

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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A horse walked into a bar. The bartender asked: "Why the long face?" The horse said: "My wife just died."

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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what do you call 100 muslims on a plane? Passengers

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XD Okay then, just a little and I am not very fond of it, I mean I tried something called tekken but that just made me nauseus. Then I got into some car racing game years ago, RidgeRacer I think, but when I moved the car to the sides, I kinda involuntarily tilted to the sides, and ended up smacking on the ground a couple of times.

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What's the difference between Josef fritsal and a fridge? A fridge can be thrown at a bowl of custard.

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Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound? A: Yes

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Yo mama's so fat that she needs substantially larger clothes than most other people

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A pair of brothers walked into a bar. It was where the wake was being held from their mother's funeral.

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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