teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black, blue, red, green, white, purple, orange, yellow, etc.? Last I checked, a bunch of colors

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did hellen keller name her dog? answer: unnumnumnum

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris walks into a bar, the bartender says ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Yo Mama just died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Miley Cyrus Walked into a fence and fainted.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper... used to clean up a crime scene.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Whats worst than being stuck in a cage with one blonde? Being stuck in a cage with four blondes.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A student exclaimed "This test is a piece of cake!" He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When faced with an impossible question. I like to give, and maybe receive, an impossible, yet endearing, request/answer to the problem. Sex?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call an Arabic man who crashed a plane into a business building? A careless pilot whose recklessness caused him to crash into a building. His stupidity and lack of plane control skill led to a horrible accident that involved the death of thousands of innocent people and the death of many business people's office pets.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why did they make a new iphone? because individuals like to be connected to local and world wide media so they can stay in touch with all news, friends and family.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says that there are no dogs allowed, but the man says that he is blind. So the man sits down with his dog and asks for a drink. The bartender decided to check to see if he was really blind, so he says, " Hey, do you know what time it is?" The blind man replies, "7 o'clock," The bartender says, "Ha! You said you were blind! Get out of..." but was interrupted by the man, who promptly said, "No, I'm deaf," and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's Great and Danish? The Great Dane Kane.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops