Two peanuts were walking down the road. One was assaulted because they were walking in Detroit.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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Get Outta Here We're Closed!

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What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

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What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of African decent to sit in towards the front of the bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of European decent.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends what its name is.

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Q: What did Mr. Spoke say when Captain Kirk was raping him? A: "Ouch! Ouch! Captain, this is so illogical!"

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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Why did the women die? Because She was a Squirrel.

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You know what's addicting? Heroine.

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What is purple pink and goes over 10000 miles per hour. Barnney in a tornado

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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