A. Ask me if I am a tree B. Are you a tree? A. No idiot

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains! Really? Well that's the least of your problems. Your test came up HIV positive.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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what does idk mean? i dont know!! nobody knows!!

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What do you give the person who has everything? A 20$ gift voucher

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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There were two planes to take off.. One did, the other not at all..

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Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender asks her, "why the long face?". She tells him it's from her parent's genes.

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Why did Santa get stuck up a chimney? Because there was a family of possums living up there. They ripped his face off.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He lost his punch line. -by Ross

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Rex Ryans foot fetish was honer by Mark Sanchez when he threw the ball at his teammates feet.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? You provide him with a ladder of varying length depending on his height in the tree and hold the ladder to ensure that it is stable and safe while he is climbing down. If he his very high in the tree then it may be helpful to call the fire department for assistance in getting him down.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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Who lived in a pineapple under the sea?

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Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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Why did the buetiful woman marry the homeless man? True love

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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