- Anti Joke

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

A couple elopes in Vegas. The next morning while eating breakfast the woman tells her husband she thinks it was a mistake, using her alcoholism as an excuse for her inability to make practical decisions. The man proceeded to cry and called his attorney to arrangea proper divorce.

69 How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

Why did the prince kiss his beloved just before going into battle? Intermission.

Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

I forgot how the joke starts but the punchline goes something something something your moms a slut.

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

what is the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "My face isn't long relative to the others of my species, it is actually quite normal."

What happened when Mark's hair died? He got depressed that he was growing old and the signs of it were showing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He never did because he's in KFC

Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

Hey I Just Met You And This Is Crazy But I Am Pregnant And It's Yhur Baby ~GotDemChoozen

Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

Why did Sally fall off the tree? Because Sally weighed 500 lbs and it was a bamboo tree.

What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

Doctor, everybody despises me. That cant be totally true you despicable piece of shite!

What's blue and smells like sky? Sky