Q: Knock Knock!?! A: Lettem' in!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the farmer say to the survivor of the plane crash that just crashed on his land? "Need a band-aid?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the waitress do when the man asked for pizza? She ran away

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's Gay and has a penis? Justin Bieber, I lied about the penis

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats green and smells like grass? Grass scented air freshener, in a green colored can.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did one duck say to the other? "Quack" Ducks don't talk. But if it were to say something it would probably mention how it is concerned about the fact that the majority of people on the internet don't know what ducks say to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you know what killed the cat? Feline AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mom is so fat that her doctor told her to go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Depends how you look at it, I like some girl, she and that girl gets along, I get along with the two girls, and yeah, I make them fight to the death as I consume the weakest one and make the new one my wife of darkness! Well, actually, threesomes, but NEVAH, NEVAR!! *shakes fist towards the skies* with another man! Now if my waifu wants to have some fun with a girl, I say why not (and then she asks if I want to join always so far), its genetics, you know, each caveman had like 600 wivus and he did not have time to bang them all, now let those genes go trough MAN for a couple of millenia, and he becomes the KING OF DEMONS... ME! Those other scumbags are a whole other story. Oh, and the 600 wivus did either go without sexytime, or you know... I mean you do KNOW that women are like comfortable naked together and yeah...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A black guy, a Latino guy and an Asian guy all walk in a bar. What do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Vagina Boob

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it made no sense

thumb_up thumb_down -9

You tie a noose around your neck, you jump off a cliff and before you hit the ground you shoot yourself in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An Englishman, an American and a Frenchman are standing on the side of a cliff. The Englishman jumps off the cliff. The American also jumps off the cliff. He is followed by the Frenchman. Suicide and depression are major problems in today's world regardless of nationality.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Reminding you of your religion. The army led by God attacked their foes at the mountains, yet had to flee because the enemy had plated steel wagons. Moral: Either God cant beat steel, or he was not there at all, its your call gents, because reading Ave Maria 50 times each time you sin, without reading the whole thing, does not even make you a Christian you FUCK (yes I can curse, you cannot)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Remember when the new jokes on this sight actually used to be funny?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops