Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

what is big and can make things come out? a gun

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

Why did the baby duck cry? Because his family just got ran over by a truck

A man jumped off a cliff. He died.

Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

what's up? my penis.

roses are red violets are blue i have aids and so do you happy valentines day!

No soup for you!

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

wanna hear a joke? womans rights

The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.

89 bottles of beer on the wall, 89 bottles of beer, if one alcoholic passes the wall, 0 bottles of beer on the wall!

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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