A dog walks into a club. Just kidding I hit the dog with a club multiple times, killed it, and went to jail for the murder of an innocent animal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the stage? Someone shot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

,What would you call Morgan Freeman if he was White? Morgan Freeman

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the pretty young girl get for her birthday? Cake and presents (get your mind out of the gutter).

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why couldn't the farmer drive his tractor He had no arms why didn't he have arms Because he was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Welcome to Horsehead! 1. Our servers are derpy right now, do yourself a favor and never come back, oh yes they are gonna be derpy right then too! 2. THIS IS MY WORLD PEOPLE MYYYYY WOOOOOOOORLD!... ...Ps: My world sucks. 3. Antijokes 30000 per day, other stuff, Zero. (30000 by me) 4. You: People better like me because I dont like myself. Me: I like myself FUCK PEOPLE! FUCK YOU! (thats me on horsehead) welcome to die! 5. IRIS... IRIS! WHAT AM I TYPING FOOOOOOOOOOOOR!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the Jew gassed to death? Because he forgot to turn the gas off.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What would you call the baby of an elephant and a rhinoceros? Nothing. They are two entirely different species and therefore cannot breed.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

'I had a surprise test today.' 'What happened?' 'I was really surprised.'

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Hey how is your wife and my kids

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q : WHAT DID THE SMALL SHEEP SAY TO THE BIG SHEEP ? Z : BÆÆÆ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, Some don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Life's like a box of chocolates it's shit if you have diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops