what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What do tomatoes, apples, oranges, lemons, and peaches have in common? They are all fruits.

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What do a squirrel and a grape have in common? They are both purple except for the squirrel.

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Why did little Suzan fall of the swing? She has no arms. Knock,Knock Who's there? Not Suzan

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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What is blue and rolls ? A blue, rolling thing.

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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What did the drug addict say to the doctor? I am a drug addict and am in need of help and rehabilitation.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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Why is evan a lil poop? cause he pooped my poop all the pooping ;)

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Listen Erron, what`s wrong? I would have told you to go fuck yourself if it where not for the fact that AzureDragon just left for the cafeteria and is nowhere to be seen.

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How do you keep kids off your lawn? You molest them.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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why are you reading these jokes? i have nothing else to do. ok

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Roses are red, yup.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

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What's 13 inches long and 3 inches wide and drives women crazy? My diick

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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How come grilled cheese?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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