How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Roses are red, violetsvare blue, I have aids, so do you

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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Why did the Asian ace the test? Because she had worked very diligently, taken copious notses, and studied fervently until she had a thorough mastery of the topic.

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what did the left foot say to the right foot? Nothing, feet don't talk

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Q: What would George Washington do if he were alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Q: what did humoure say to lie A: u must be tellin a lie

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing? A. She had no arms Q. Why didn't she get back up? A. She had no legs Q. Why did no one help her up? A. She had no friends Q. Why did Lucy fall off the swing A. She had no arms You: knock knock Other person: who's there? You: not Lucy

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Nerve endings. Now, lets say we make that sensation of a finger down there vibrate, as your nose (not not your lower parts no no) become twenty times as sensitive, now you are just rubbing your nose right? Try not rubbing it completely off now...

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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Justin beiber..

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mormens...

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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The bartender says "We don't serve time travellers here". Two time travellers walk into a bar.

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What is black, white, and red all over? something that just so happens to be seen by the color blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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