What kind of ship never sinks? Not the Titanic.

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One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer procrastinated fixing the latch on the coop. Did his wife warn him this would happen? Yessss! Did he listen? Noooo!

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Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he's human.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? - "Get down"

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Q: What do you call a cow with no legs? A: Lunch.

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

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Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

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What did the black man in a white van get when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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Violets are blue Roses are red I stabbed you 37 times in the chest Now you're dead

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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If we had some ham, we could have ham and eggs; if we had some eggs.

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Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

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Wanna know a secret? I didn't read or agree to the terms and services

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops