roses are red violets are blue im not good at poems so fuck you too.

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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Why did suzie fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didn't she get back on the swing? cause she had no legs. Why didn't anyone help her up? Cause she had no friends. Why did she stay their all night? cause she had no family.

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A mormon walks into a bar.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

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why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

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Guy: Roses are red, violets are blue, you're beautiful and sexy too. Girl: Roses are red violets are blue, how many girls have you told that to? Guy:... Girl: Exactly.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, seeing as the slaughterhouse was directly across the road from the farm where the chicken lived, the man who owned the farm led his flock of chickens across the street when they were of age and fattened up so that they could be inhumanly massacred in order to process an order of chicken nuggets.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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why was the kid crying? because he had to go to school GDS*

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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A black man goes down to Alabama in the 1960s; He gets lynched.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand. The owner of the stand marveled at how close such an adorable duck was to him and proceeded to sell lemonade undisturbed.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

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it was dark outside so u know what i did....went to sleep

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One Direction???? Gifted singers???? HA HA HA

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An englishman, an irishman amd a scotsman were walking down the street. What a fine example of unionism

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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