What did the teacher do? He taught.

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Why was the fat guy so sad? Because he knew he would die sooner or later, just like every other human being

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Why did Lindsay Lohan talk to her car? Because she's insane

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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why was the baby crying? cause his abusive father broke his arm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting, he is very fond of animals and would never want to shoot them.

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What's awesome and rides a unicycle? Rollercoasters. I lied about the unicycle.

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How did the black kid get in school? By taking the bus.

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Why didn't the mexican have a job? because he was working on his masters degree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't become rotisserie with a side of hash brown.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? shoot it

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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What do your mum and dad have in common Not much your dads dead

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What happens when a man farts a fancy memorial party in a ball room in England... At least 1000 people die somewhere on earth in the time his butt squeezed out that fart. And I'm sure someone gets raped.

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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save me from the nothing ive become

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Friends are a lot like trees. If you hit them multiple times with an axe, they will fall down.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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why do girls like grey's anatomy so much? because they are girls

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Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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