Roses are red, Violets are purple not f**cking blue!

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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Whais red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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*knock knock* "Who's there?" "It's the police, I'm afraid your husband was in a car crash and died."

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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TRICERATOPS!

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Why did the white woman press charges against the black guy? Because he raped her

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What do you a black man who isn't flying a plane? Well, that depends on his occupation.

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Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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How do all Asians look? With their eyes.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops