What do pancakes and Smokie Bear have in common? They both don't have aids

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man walks into a bar and sees another man crying at the other end he asked what's wrong the man replies well its a long story I have time replyed the other man ok well me and my wife are always arguing. So I divided to go to the library after hours of reading I see a book about history and as im reading it its time to go home and when I was going to check it out I forgot my library card I get home and me and my wife make up and have a baby thats not bad at all said the other man yea you've never lost ur library card

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the white person say to the black person? Nothing because he was black

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's red and looks like blue paper? Red paper

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do girls think they deserve the very best? Because if an ugly girl in twilight can find a hunky vampire and ripped werewolf why can't they. And let's not forget those crappy Disney princess movies.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you make a health inspector give you a good report? Throw his family into a pack of alligators.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the house stink? There were decomposing bodies under the floor boards.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why can no one in africa read or write? I would asume the lack of public education combined with the fact that setting up an education system for so many widespread remote comunities would be a logistical nightmare. But then again I have never been to africa and know little about the country and so the premise of this joke is probably a dramatic overstatement in the first place.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Hideo Kojima AntiJoke Typed by Hideo Kojima. Idea By Hideo Kojima. Concept By Hideo Kojima Spacing by Hideo Kojima Controlled for typos by Hideo Kojima Overseen By Hideo Kojima Aproved By Hideo Kojima. Reconsidered By Hideo Kojima Accepted by Hideo Kojima What took you so long?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A dead guy walks into a grave.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Steven Hawkings say as he fell down the stairs? .................

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why are anti jokes so repetitive? Because you're reading too many, get off your computer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the magician stop doing magic ? he got hit by a bus and died

thumb_up thumb_down -25

99% of teenagers would cry if they saw justin bieber on the top of a skyscraper, about to jump. However, there is 1% who would be sitting in a lawn chair at the bottom screaming, DO A BACKFLIP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

whats green and has wheels grass and i lied about the wheels

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why didn't the Hero rescue the princess? A. Because he crunched some numbers, realized the incredible odds against him, and decided against it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

If anyone has a KIK, put it in the comments.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

In Soviet Russia, Joseph Stalin killed a lot of people and there was nothing funny about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops