what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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your mom is so ugly that she was made fun of in highschool so much that she now has social issues and a fear of close relationships which is why she left you and your father at age 5

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What's big and grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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Clyde: Hey John! :D John: Hey clyde! :D Clyde: :D! John: :D! Clyde: :D, :), :|, :(, D'X John: ? hey man, are you ok? Wtf is going on with you? Clyde: Man, it's not me... :'(... It's you... It's your... Your... John: My what? Clyde: YOUR FACE!!!! D'X

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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Found out the difference between onions and men. I don't cry when I'm chopping up men.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picker her up and then they had sex.

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why couldnt jimmys feet touch the ground? he was hanging.

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Why'd the kid stick ice up his nose? To keep his lunch cold.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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Why is 6 afraid of 7.? Well 7 has suffered a tramatic brain injury, and has a tendancy to brutally attack anyone he comes in contact with. The whole situation is unfortunate.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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Knock knock! Knock knock!! Knock knock!!! Knock knock!!!! WHOSE THERE! Wait its a woodpecker

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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