Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What's the difference between a black guy and a white guy? One has a slightly darker skin complexion

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You know you are really drunk if your blood alcohol Is higher than .08

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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The cow's name was Friday, But can you guess what day it died? Monday, it had a fun weekend with its family before it was brutally slaughtered.

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock? Who's there? Not Mary.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Can a match box? No, but a tin can.

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What do u do to blow off steam? I simply go to the top of the empire states building, poor gasoline in a bag, put a baby in it, light it on fire, and through it off the side. problem?

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse becomes depressed. He didn't ask to look like this. He drinks himself into a stupor, and then crashes into another car on the highway on the way home, killing a family of five. The horse is now in jail for life.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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What's purple, red, green and does jumping jacks. Nothing... that sounds pretty crazy if you ask me.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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A black man walked into a bar. He cashed in big on workers comp.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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yo mama is so hairy she has afros on her nipples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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