Stephen Hawking walks into a bar.

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What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Yo mamas so fat she is obese

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What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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A guy walks into a bar. No one notices he has epilepsy.

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Why Did The Horse Cross The Road? He Couldn't Because He Was Still-born

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb Wanna go ride bikes?

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She won't have a pulse.

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a man walks into a bar and buys a drink

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why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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What do you call a black person who has fallen? an ambulance

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What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

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Knock Knock Opens door because they were expecting visitors

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Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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