- Anti Joke

What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

Women's Rights Movement

How does a Black Guy eat chicken. Like anyother human-being.

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A bike.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

9/11 my birthday

What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is a woman.

how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

I just threw up..In my pants.

What's the difference between a bird? Both legs are the same, especially the left one

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Did you hear the one about the streetlight? It only came on at night.

I'm a poet and I just didn't realise

Dear Reader I am writing to express my complete and utter disdain toward the subject of your face. Rarely have I to witness such a repugnant sight. I would like to inform you that, upon most regrettably witnessing your face, my delicate stomach muscles gave way, and my morning meal, of lightly buttered Kipper and freshly squeezed orange juice most unfortunately ended up in one of the seventeen human waste disposal outlets to adorn my manor house. I struggle to comprehend how you, being such a selfish sadist, are able to live with yourself, knowing how much dismay you have caused me. Might I suggest that you pay a visit to a prosthetic plastic surgeon, in order to prevent other innocent's to suffer as did I. I request politely, but please be firmly assured in the knowledge that I will complain to the magnificent force of the police should you not comply with my reasonable request. Your face simply can not be allowed to exist in it's current form. I would go so far to say that it may be a danger to the elder's of our society, with their regrettably weak hearts.

What did the boy with arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Some of these jokes are funny, others are sad.

Why was young Ferdinand sad? He had a very rough day. In the morning he woke up. To find a man in his room, and then the man raped him. Then, Ferdinand found out that his whole family was killed by an angry rat. Then, he realized his grandma took away all his Christmas presents and ate them. Then, the angry rat showed up and brutally murdered Ferdinand and ate him. The rat then burped up Ferdinand and his family's bones, and on Ferdinand's bone there was something wrong, indicating that Ferdinand had cancer and would've died the next day anyway. The rat then got cancer from Ferdinand, and it died. That is why Ferdinand was sad.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have condoms, But we didn't use them with you. You were DP'd, Now you have STD.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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