Q: What did Jenna Jameson say when she heard hard banging near the front door? A: Come inside

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Whats The Meaning Of Life? 42. But everyone has their own perception so you have your own answer so why the heck did i write this joke. Oh wait Im writing still. The answer is 42.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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-What's funnier than a dog with no legs? -The movie Dumb and Dumber, in my opinion.

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So, a Turtle, a Giraffe, and a Hippopotamus walk into Stop-N-Shop. They are quickly excorted out and the Zoo is contacted to take the wild animals. The Manager wonders why they were there in the first place.

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven, one muffin says to the other; boy it's hot in here. the other other muffin doesn't reply because it's a muffin, muffins don't talk. Now consider that the first muffin was a squirrel, A TALKING SQUIRREL!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. 97

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How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

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Why do men not get cullulite? Because it's ugly.

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How do black people vote? They go to their polling place, register, then vote for their candidate on election day.

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A man walks into a bard with a politician, an Asian man, and a sailor. They all get drinks and have a good time.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

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How do you scare a little boy? You tell him everyone he loves was shot to death by you and then kick his guardian .

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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What's difficult and tedious to do? Trying to find a joke with 0 thumbs up/down -Sykes

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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