If you see Chuck Norris you should probably tell him hey for me.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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Three kids are playing on the swings. One of the kids falls off. He then gets up, gets back on the swing and continues playing.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Whats the difference between anne frank and osama bin laden? Nothing. They were both found eventually.

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What is Jetlag? When your computer is running too many applications/programs, thus causing the game Jetman on Facebook to lag.

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

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like this or you will die at some point in your life

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In a joke book: So a man walks into a bar. Suddenlly the universe around the author crack. Unable to sustain the infinite potential of punchlines, the author tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Neronism is based on the belief that respect and love for one self and ones opinions, combined with respect and love for the opinions of those which follow the same concepts, is the right thing to do. Now behold what religion has done, it spreads fear and poverty, demands the submission of free will and belief in oneself, which again leads to pedophilia, abuse and discrimination of women, abuse and hate, which breeds life to wars agony, suffering poverty and disease in the name of what defines love these days for some "might exist and be jealous and cruel God which loves you so much, that he gives you the option behind serving him or endless suffering..." Not to mention, this fear of eternal torment, being passed on for generation to generation, creating endless wars since the dawn of mankind. Know that we do consider outsiders inferior, but we do not hate you, we pity you, we will not make you suffer, as you due to your path, suffer enough already. Now ask yourself, if we are what you could say those that represent anti-religion, as we go on knowing this, we can not only do better than religion... ...But the hell if we can do worse! Moral: "We will not walk with pride into the light, we will not go into war against those we disagree with, instead we walk in the dark with humility and listen to our hearts and the one of others in order to find our definition of love and kindness... ...Otherwise Neronism would just be yet another fucking religion, and there is enough of that in this world already. If you listen then you know who I am in spirit, if not then you might have learned something new.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies "I'm a talking horse and that's what you ask me? On the day I just buried my only son?"

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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why was the little boy happy? Because he wasn't in the penn state locker room.

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Whats green and has wheels?? - Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Woody Allen once said, "I have had many romantic relationships in my life that were both complex and humorous."

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Q: how do you drown a blond A: put a mirror at the bottom of a pool

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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