Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

Why did the chair break? The person that sat in it was over weight

A man walked into a bar and said "Ouch".

Why won't Santa be delivering presents this year? Because he can't be bothered.

What did the dog say to his owner? Bark.

Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

A man falls off a building and dies on Impact

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, This poem is getting old, I like cookies.

Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

Why was the gay man gay? Because he likes touching other guys penises

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

What is pink and gets wet a tounge

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

Who's mean and white and really not nice? Hitler

Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

Your face

The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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