What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was the boy laughing? Because

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black, white, and red all over? Half of a dalmatian.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

So a guy walks into a bar and says, "I can hold a spoon in between my butt-cheeks." Jillian Michaels asked him if that will help him lose weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what do you find at the top of mountains? things

thumb_up thumb_down +15

how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the deaf boy get for Christmas? Something like udgtationdaidnmgf

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

bish bash bosh giz a nosh

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you confuse a blonde? Wait...what?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I think poop is tasty... just kidding.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken crossed yo mama? Because your moms a man and your birth certificate was an apology letter from the condom factory.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's funnier than 100 dead babies? Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock. Doors open

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call someone who's father is black (born in Kenya), mother is white (born in Canada), and was himself born in Australia? Someone with tri-citizenship

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops